This post comes from an experience I had the past week.
The goal is to show you that you don’t need Tinder or going to nightclubs to have sex. And you don’t even need to spend money on dates.
All you need to do is being able to flirt, establish the right frames and make things happen. If your dates don’t end up with sex, this post is going to show you why. And what you should do to get some love on the first date.
It was 5 pm on a Saturday afternoon, and I was walking in the center.
I went out to buy some clothes at Zara, as well as trying to meet some interesting seneoritas.
After three bad approaches, I see this tiny latina with a round ass, walking down the street. She was wearing a tight dress showing most of her legs and a pair of Converse.
On top of her dress, she was wearing an elegant, black jacket.
The moment I see this beautiful creature, my legs start to automatically walk toward her.
As soon as I am next to her, I start the conversation, with a strong tonality and Superman eye-contact
“I think you’re cute and I want to say hi”
“You’re dressed so elegantly and then you’re wearing Converse, I don’t know what to think about you”
She doesn’t speak English…
A normal man would give up and think she didn’t understand what I wanted to tell her. But when your sub-communication is on point, she will understand your intentions, no matter the words you use.
Indeed, she’s hooked already, and the next thing she does is asking me where I am from. That’s a big IOI (indicator of interest) at this moment of the interaction. If she makes questions, she’s interested.
Soooo, we start having a normal “get-to-know” conversation. With some teasing and push-pull lines thrown here and there.
While we talk, I find out about her logistics: she’s just wandering around the shops, without a destination.
I can get her on an instant date.
So, I ask her to have a coffee with me.
She agrees, and we sit at the first cafe I see. I didn’t want to walk too much to find the “right bar”. She could have changed her mind and find an excuse. So, once she agrees on sitting together, move fast.
The instant date
Once we seat, she asks me if I am on Tinder. I say yes and ask her why.
She says I look familiar.
This is a big piece of information I have.
The fact that she’s on Tinder combined with the fact that she’s dressed in a very sensual way for a walk in the shopping center, means she’s probably going through a horny season. Maybe her period is about to arrive or she hasn’t had sex in a long time. Anyway, this girl is looking for a man in this moment of her life. And I happen to be that man…
I can’t waste this chance.
So we order a beer and start drinking. I won’t go through the conversation threads. But the main points are:
Escalate the conversation: Obviously, I can’t ask her about her past sexual experiences as soon as we seat. We start talking about normal topics. Then we progress toward hotter stuff, like sex in public spaces.
There’s a step-by-step checklist I use. And it’s a bunch of questions put in order that you can use to go from “What’s your job” to “do you like being smashed in doggy style”.
For instance, you ask her if she likes to party. She says “yes bla bla bla”. You stay a bit on the party’s topic. And then you make another question that will get you closer to a sexual thread. For instance, when was the last time she got drunk.
And then “Have you ever kissed a stranger when you were drunk”.
Of course she has! So you go on.
Obviously, this must be calibrated to the girl.
With some girls, I push the escalation to the max, and I end up talking about how I am going to eat the hell out of her pussy once we’ll be home.
With this girl, however, I didn’t go that far. I felt she was a bit nervous talking about these topics, hence I stopped. You must think about the rapport with a woman like a wire. You want enough tension to keep it stretched, but not to the point of breaking it.
If I sexualized too much, she would have probably refused the idea of going back home with me because there was too much tension. And it would have looked too obvious we were going home to bang.
You want to make it look like it happened.
Escalating the conversation is important to don’t slip into boring topics like what her cats eats and why her boss hates her. And it creates the right amount of tension necessary to spike emotions.
In addition, this conversation is beneficial for the next points: screening and establishing the adventurous frame.
Screening: I wanted to understand what kind of girl she is. Is she likely to have an adventure with me right now?
This is accomplished by making questions about her relationships, what happened with her last boyfriend or if she ever had a one-night stand.
For instance, this girl tells me she’s been single for the last 7 months. And that she broke up with her boyfriend because he didn’t want her to move to another city. This means that this girl values her career/pleasure more than a relationship, hence she’s not really looking into a boyfriend in this moment of her life.
Moreover, she tells me she moved here from her city on her own. Without any friends or connections. This is another green signal. She’s an adventurous type of person. While for men it may seem easy to move to a new city alone, not all women would do that. This girl is not scared of taking risks. I like that!
Establish the adventurous frame: This is the reason why most guys don’t sleep with women on the first date. They’re not able to establish the adventurous frame. Because they’re afraid the girl will judge them as “Players” or “fuckboys” or “too horny for sex”. Well, you’re a man and you shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting to have sex with a girl.
How do you establish this frame?
I mostly do it with stories.
Some stories I use are the ones of when I get arrested in Brazil (truly happened) or when I got a tattoo at 4 am in Thailand after a party with my friend. And we met two Canadians girls in the tattoo shop doing the same thing, so we decided to go drink together after the tattoo to celebrate the act of craziness.
These are all stories that show my crazy side. It makes them horny and it makes them think about you as the adventurous guy, the type of man to have a one-night stand with.
Again, this must be calibrated.
If I am having a drink with a relationship girl, introducing these stories would introduce a battle of frames that would be beneficial for sleeping with her.
Everything must be calibrated.
Seeding the pull: Halfway through the interaction, she asks me if I smoke cigarettes, and since we’re on the topic, I ask her if she smokes weed. She says yes, so I take the chance to start bringing up the idea of going to my place later and smoke weed. She agrees with the idea.
The lesson here is to always have something in your apartment to use as an excuse to pull her home. Weed, a special bottle of wine, beer, a book, some photos, a movie, a pool table.
A friend of mine, when he was in Thailand, brought some special tea from Italy and he used that as an excuse to pull girls home. As weird as it may sound, it worked. Girls only want an excuse to go home with you. Most of them don’t feel comfortable coming back home with you knowing that they’re going to have sex. Hence, you want to give her an excuse to make her feel comfortable with herself.
After seeding the pull, I keep the conversation going. I can relax more because now the idea of going home together is established. And I don’t have much work to do. Everything I have to do is not to fuck up the interaction or do something weird.
So after some more normal conversation, I ask if we should go home. She agrees and we start walking toward home.
Going back home
It took around 7-10 minutes to get home. And even during this period, the conversation is basic. Nothing fancy, but not boring.
This is a crucial moment and you don’t want to lift any preoccupation or source of discomfort.
Important note: So far, I haven’t yet kissed her. I want to highlight this information for all the kiss junkies that spend hours making out with girls but never manage to get them home.
I always prefer to not kiss the girl before going home. You don’t need to. Kissing is just something that gives your ego a boost, that makes you feel more sure about her liking you. But you don’t need that.
If it happens naturally, then yes, go for it. But oftentimes, I don’t kiss her before getting to my place.
Once we arrive home, I can see she’s a bit tense. So I don’t take any big steps. My goal now is to make her feel comfortable with being in the bedroom of a guy she met 40 minutes earlier.
Once I’ll have enough comfort, I can start to escalate.
So, I give her the weed and the papers and I tell her to roll one blunt. I put on some music and I go to the bathroom.
When I come back home, I see she laid down on my bed and she’s rolling the blunt. This is exactly what I want. She feels so comfortable that she got on my bed without me telling anything.
So we get on the balcony, light up the blunt, and start smoking. I see again that she doesn’t feel comfortable. She starts to make me no-sense questions like what I have done yesterday or two days ago.
However, this nervousness doesn’t come from being home with a stranger. She’s feeling nervous because she has realized we’re going to have sex, and she is a bit insecure. Not about having sex, but about herself.
Therefore, I just stop her. I take her hands, grab her toward me and we start making out.
And from here, everything goes smoothly.
I throw her on my bed, raise her short dress and eat her pussy like it was my first meal after 10 days in the desert.
She comes three times and starts to beg me to fuck her. So I put the condom on, put her in doggy style, and fuck the shit out of her.
She comes again. And again.
Then I came. We smoke weed, and start doing it again…
It was a wonderful experience.
And at the moment of writing this, we’re still in touch and planning to meet again.
Life is amazing